“Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan…” While Paul Simon’s iconic song, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” addresses love life woes, its catchy tune offers an uncanny metaphor for the countless ways one can lose a driver’s license. Love and driving both require responsibility, attention, and a commitment to following certain “rules of the road.”
In the legal realm, particularly in traffic law, we often come across people puzzled by how they ended up losing their driving privileges. This often ends up in the form of a suspended or revoked license. In today’s post, I want to highlight the many different ways you can jeopardize your license—often without realizing it.
Driving Under Influence (DUI)
Sipping Some Wine, Caroline: Even a small amount of alcohol can impair your ability to drive.
Don’t Dose, Rose: Drugs, even some over-the-counter ones, can land you a DUI charge.
One More Beer, My Dear: Multiple DUIs will likely result in a revoked license.
Speeding
Race Through Space, Ace: Excessive speeding can turn into a felony in some circumstances, especially is someone is injured, or you’re eluding the police.
Chasing a Thrill, Bill: Street racing isn’t just dangerous, it’s also illegal.
Just a Bit Quick, Rick: Even minor speeding tickets can add up over time. You need to be very careful about points on your driver’s license.
Reckless Driving
Swerve and Curve, Merv: Sudden lane changes without signaling and dodging in and out of traffic can be considered reckless driving.
Tailgating ain’t Great, Nate: Keep a safe distance from other cars.
Pedal to Metal, Gretel: Driving too fast for conditions can also counts as reckless driving.
Distracted Driving
Text to Ex, Lex: Texting while driving is illegal in most states.
Just a Quick Peek, Zeke: Checking social media on the road isn’t a good idea either.
Looking so Fly, Sly: Grooming while driving is still distracted driving.
Violating Traffic Laws
Red Light Run, Hun: Accumulated violations can result in a suspended license.
Don’t Stop, Pop: Ignoring stop signs isn’t trivial.
Passing the Bus, Gus: Overtaking a school bus with its stop sign out is illegal and dangerous.
Accidents and Collisions
Smash and Dash, Nash: A conviction for a Hit and run can result in immediate license revocation depending on your State. In Colorado, the 12 points from a failure to report will get you suspended.
Don’t Crash, Ash: At-fault accidents can add points to your license.
Fender Bender, Sender: Even minor accidents can have major legal implications if you’re not careful.
Administrative Reasons
Forgot to Pay, Ray: Unpaid fines can lead to a suspended license.
Missed the Date, Kate: Failing to appear in court can result in a bench warrant and license suspension.
No Insurance, Clarence: Driving without insurance is a quick way to lose your license.
Other Legal Offenses
Steal Wheels, Neal: Auto theft is a surefire way to lose your license in some States.
Forged Signs, Ryan: Faking a driver’s license or using someone else’s is illegal.
Evading the Raid, Wade: Fleeing from police can lead to license revocation.
Medical Reasons
Can’t See, Lee: Poor vision can disqualify you from holding a driver’s license.
Not So Steady, Freddy: Medical conditions like seizures can result in license revocation.
I could go on with this list, detailing even more ways to lose your driving privileges, but the message is clear: just as maintaining a relationship requires care, awareness, and respect, so does maintaining your ability to drive.
In both love and law, sometimes all it takes is a slip—a forgotten anniversary or a rolled-through stop sign—to find yourself on shaky ground. But unlike love, the law offers fewer second chances.
So as you head out on the highway of life, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel. There might be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are just as many ways to lose your license.
In either case, if you find yourself in a bind, don’t hesitate to seek professional advice. After all, sometimes you need a little help navigating love’s winding roads—and the legal system’s complex corridors.
If you or someone you know is facing issues related to traffic violations or driver’s license suspension, don’t hesitate to reach out for legal assistance. Because, unlike a lost love, a lost license is often easier to reclaim—if you have the right help.
An experienced traffic defense lawyer can help navigate the system with you. We offer free consultations on Colorado Springs and El Paso County traffic cases.
Disclaimer: This blog post is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal advice.